Sessions Did It

Jeff Sessions (R-AL) said, recently, that the republican party is in a mess. This seems adequate. He says the Republicans were too interested in state and special interest concerns and not in a national plan. This seems true- though it also seems ambiguous enough to apply to almost any elected federal politician. Then he lost his fucking marbles, got re-infected with the Republican-Party-Lie-Till-You-Die infection that makes them not admit Sarah Palin should be forced to change her name to Sarah Pander. He said the republicans were not in trouble because they were too conservative.

Well, in a country with two political parties that have a shot at most/any elected office, that would mean they were too liberal, right? I mean, the Republicans are all conservative. The Democrats are all liberals- unless they're from Alabama where they're pro-NRA, pro-Life, federal reductionists, who never oppose tax cuts. So if the Republicans didn't get themselves in trouble by being conservative, they must have gotten into trouble being liberal. Because legislating to ban the freedoms of minorities too small/disliked to effect national elections is too pussy-ass-faggy-liberal-San-Francisco. Because lying about what "life" means, and not being able to talk about Roe v Wade without bringing up myth, superstition, and "Religion", all while keeping poor women from getting safe abortions, is too effeminate-anti-security-take-it-in-the-ass-(from-another-man)-liberal. Because de-regulating every big business supporter so they don't even have to disclose, after the fact, what bullshit they're doing; all while fucking the environment to spare polluters another 3 cents on the dollar, and dissolving the SUPERFUND ( it having been by far one of the smartest, fairest, and understandable things ever done in the name of environmental policy) is too pro-terrorist-if-you-vote-for-them-we-all-die-gay-and-communist-because-that's-even-possible-and-they're-all-gay-and-hate-jebus-and-gay-liberal.

Makes sense.

Douche.