Jeff Sessions (R-AL) said, recently, that the republican party is in a mess. This seems adequate. He says the Republicans were too interested in state and special interest concerns and not in a national plan. This seems true- though it also seems ambiguous enough to apply to almost any elected federal politician. Then he lost his fucking marbles, got re-infected with the Republican-Party-Lie-Till-You-Die infection that makes them not admit Sarah Palin should be forced to change her name to Sarah Pander. He said the republicans were not in trouble because they were too conservative.
Well, in a country with two political parties that have a shot at most/any elected office, that would mean they were too liberal, right? I mean, the Republicans are all conservative. The Democrats are all liberals- unless they're from Alabama where they're pro-NRA, pro-Life, federal reductionists, who never oppose tax cuts. So if the Republicans didn't get themselves in trouble by being conservative, they must have gotten into trouble being liberal. Because legislating to ban the freedoms of minorities too small/disliked to effect national elections is too pussy-ass-faggy-liberal-San-Francisco. Because lying about what "life" means, and not being able to talk about Roe v Wade without bringing up myth, superstition, and "Religion", all while keeping poor women from getting safe abortions, is too effeminate-anti-security-take-it-in-the-ass-(from-another-man)-liberal. Because de-regulating every big business supporter so they don't even have to disclose, after the fact, what bullshit they're doing; all while fucking the environment to spare polluters another 3 cents on the dollar, and dissolving the SUPERFUND ( it having been by far one of the smartest, fairest, and understandable things ever done in the name of environmental policy) is too pro-terrorist-if-you-vote-for-them-we-all-die-gay-and-communist-because-that's-even-possible-and-they're-all-gay-and-hate-jebus-and-gay-liberal.
Makes sense.
Douche.
Read More...
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Perfect Solution
(Godwin be appeased, I did not say FINAL)...
Hi there. I want to talk to you, instead of at you, for a second. No worries, it's not to address differences in opinions of right/wrong, politics, religion, how science is the only rational approach to understanding the real world we live in, or any of the other things I usually address.
No, today, right now, just between you and me- here alone (in the cold)- I'd like to talk about something I think we all know; but that we overlook FAR too often: There are no PERFECT Solutions. Everything benefits one group more than another; and most things hurt some group.
Do you enjoy the fact that you've probably never had malaria? It's because we changed the way sanitation works, and we killed an ass ton of mosquitoes. The mosquitoes lost out, and we won, hands down.
When there's a solution that negatively effects a group- like banks, automobile makers, or the airports/airlines- but positively effects another- usually consumers- it's not the right time to start trumpeting the cause of corporations. Case in point, the 250bn Stock Injection Plan that banks and bankers oppose(d). The VAST majority of economists, the world over, support the idea AND the idea that the banks want (where we buy up toxic sub-prime mortgage backed debts) is HORRIBLE- in every way- for the consumers. Trickle down economics didn't work under Ronny Ray-gun and they don't work now.
When the airports and airlines decree auctioning off runway slots, and the arguments run into how it will hurt local business in the future because investors don't want to invest in a place without direct-to-NYC flights, take a look at the facts. (1) It doesn't hurt the vast majority of consumers in any way, form, or fashion {Aren't flights with lay overs cheaper?}. (2) The groups decrying the measures are airports and airlines. (3) Nothing is perfect.
This simple, logical approach to issues will mean we can stop spending hours repeating sob stories of the people who get hurt, and start looking at the actual issues: Does this HELP the most people, Is there a feasible way of helping MORE people?
Prognosticating on uncertain futures by espousing WHAT IF and IT COULD (as well as similarly vague terms) is pointless. When you're in the store you don't debate whether to buy toothpaste because WHAT IF or IT COULD, you buy the toothpaste and brush your teeth because it's a fact that brushing your teeth means less trouble down the road.
In economics and politics it's much harder to know for sure what will or won't work. However, it's INCREDIBLY easy to see what DOESN'T WORK. For instance, I don't know how to get the world out of the financial crisis; but I do know that de-regulation, lack of transparency, and self-oversight all helped cause the problem. Which means anything that includes those, or tries to limit how much of that can be changed, is BAD.
Yes, that means more work for banks, and more work means more workers and more stuff. That means less profits for the companies. But does it matter if a company goes from making 5 trillion in a world market valued at 60 trillion, to making 1 trillion in a world market valued at 12 trillion? Does it matter if it means they make 4 trillion in a market worth 63 trillion? What if the changes guarantee no future crisis, like this?
The point is, nothing will satisfy everyone, there's no way and we both know it. So, stop bitching about something that doesn't work for everyone, and legitimately provide a better solution, or point out flaws in the current one and how to fix them, or shut the fuck up. But, for fuck's sake, stop championing the cause of the industries and groups that fucked themselves because the solutions don't benefit them!
Thanks for listening- News Media, Bloggers, Bitchers, Moaners, Whiners, and Fuckheads.
I hope you have a nice day, before burning to death in a slow and pain-filled manner on the morrow.
-Tom Read More...
Hi there. I want to talk to you, instead of at you, for a second. No worries, it's not to address differences in opinions of right/wrong, politics, religion, how science is the only rational approach to understanding the real world we live in, or any of the other things I usually address.
No, today, right now, just between you and me- here alone (in the cold)- I'd like to talk about something I think we all know; but that we overlook FAR too often: There are no PERFECT Solutions. Everything benefits one group more than another; and most things hurt some group.
Do you enjoy the fact that you've probably never had malaria? It's because we changed the way sanitation works, and we killed an ass ton of mosquitoes. The mosquitoes lost out, and we won, hands down.
When there's a solution that negatively effects a group- like banks, automobile makers, or the airports/airlines- but positively effects another- usually consumers- it's not the right time to start trumpeting the cause of corporations. Case in point, the 250bn Stock Injection Plan that banks and bankers oppose(d). The VAST majority of economists, the world over, support the idea AND the idea that the banks want (where we buy up toxic sub-prime mortgage backed debts) is HORRIBLE- in every way- for the consumers. Trickle down economics didn't work under Ronny Ray-gun and they don't work now.
When the airports and airlines decree auctioning off runway slots, and the arguments run into how it will hurt local business in the future because investors don't want to invest in a place without direct-to-NYC flights, take a look at the facts. (1) It doesn't hurt the vast majority of consumers in any way, form, or fashion {Aren't flights with lay overs cheaper?}. (2) The groups decrying the measures are airports and airlines. (3) Nothing is perfect.
This simple, logical approach to issues will mean we can stop spending hours repeating sob stories of the people who get hurt, and start looking at the actual issues: Does this HELP the most people, Is there a feasible way of helping MORE people?
Prognosticating on uncertain futures by espousing WHAT IF and IT COULD (as well as similarly vague terms) is pointless. When you're in the store you don't debate whether to buy toothpaste because WHAT IF or IT COULD, you buy the toothpaste and brush your teeth because it's a fact that brushing your teeth means less trouble down the road.
In economics and politics it's much harder to know for sure what will or won't work. However, it's INCREDIBLY easy to see what DOESN'T WORK. For instance, I don't know how to get the world out of the financial crisis; but I do know that de-regulation, lack of transparency, and self-oversight all helped cause the problem. Which means anything that includes those, or tries to limit how much of that can be changed, is BAD.
Yes, that means more work for banks, and more work means more workers and more stuff. That means less profits for the companies. But does it matter if a company goes from making 5 trillion in a world market valued at 60 trillion, to making 1 trillion in a world market valued at 12 trillion? Does it matter if it means they make 4 trillion in a market worth 63 trillion? What if the changes guarantee no future crisis, like this?
The point is, nothing will satisfy everyone, there's no way and we both know it. So, stop bitching about something that doesn't work for everyone, and legitimately provide a better solution, or point out flaws in the current one and how to fix them, or shut the fuck up. But, for fuck's sake, stop championing the cause of the industries and groups that fucked themselves because the solutions don't benefit them!
Thanks for listening- News Media, Bloggers, Bitchers, Moaners, Whiners, and Fuckheads.
I hope you have a nice day, before burning to death in a slow and pain-filled manner on the morrow.
-Tom Read More...
Politics in Sub-saharan Afribama
Shut-up.
Because the best way to entice the reader is by insulting them until they are COWED into submission and read to appease their betters!
Also, your voice annoys me- not the quality; but the fact that you have one, and aren't solely hear to provide me an audience- ready, able, and willing!
So: shut-up.
Full Disclosure: I have family members who work at Huntsville Hospital's only rival (in Huntsville), Crestwood Hospital.
Huntsville Hospital is fucking scary: A Case Study.
Like the fucking Janjawid, they have slowly expanded their way into local domination, and like a metastasizing cancer they will eventually spread to the rest of the world! This is a story of ethnic cleansing, if that were an accurate representation of highly suspect business practices, corporate greed, conflict of interest, and evil hospitals.
Huntsville Hospital is located near downtown Huntsville, and over the past 20 years has slowly bought up many of the units in the government housing projects located around it. For many years, the government opposed this; but recently Loretta Spencer- the idiot fuck who lost the Mayorial Election to Tommy Battle (the new potential Idiot Fuck)- put into effect a change to move all those horribly ugly and crime ridden projects away from the places they've been forever, and off to what it currently the furthest outskirts of town. Furthest, of course, if you live on the richest sides of town (southside, and near madison/research park/bridge street).
Why? 1, crime was bad in their parking garages. Cars were getting broken into a lot, despite security improvments it was "unacceptable". 2, for years there was a different hospital only two or three blocks over; which meant HH could expand into where the ghetto was or not at all- and one of THOSE was NOT an option. And even though HH finally bought up the site of the other hospital and expanded all over what was once a different facility, it still needed more room to grow and tumor out into- and it already owned significant portions of the projects nearby.
Okay, so this is predatory; but not really horrible. Agreed.
It's important to note that Huntsville Hospital is a CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION! They are not a business, they are here for the community, offering services; not running a business. This makes those predatory practices (understandable from a business) a bit more nefarious, don't you think? It also means they can ask for donations in the form of advertising, and provide their sponsors huge tax write-offs. This puts their competitors at serious disadvantage. Normally, this wouldn't matter to me; but HH has a bunch of shady/nefarious aspects and the free market works best when there is competition. One Hospital in 200 miles is a bit FAR from a competitive market place, and it seems to be exactly what HH wants.
Next Up: The curious case of the Little Hospital That Thought It Could, But Really Couldn't - Decatur General.
So, Decatur General couldn't afford a cardiac unit. For one, cardiac units are EXPENSIVE, for two they didn't have the docs for it. So DG makes a deal with HH to get some Cardiac specialists on loan. That way they save some money and provide residents of Decatur and other areas with cardiac care closer than Huntsville- 45 minutes or further away (down I-565). This deal REALLY pisses off DG's Obstetrics, and the OB's leave because DG can't afford to pay them enough to keep them because of how much the cardiac rental is costing. So, DG is up one Cardiac Unit, but can't deliver babies. So then, HH pulls it's docs back. DG now has no Obstetrics and no Cardiac Unit. DG was already financially strapped before the economic crisis; it's gone from being about to collapse to being held up by little more than a stubborn insistence to not admit it's already crumbled...
HH negotiated a sweet deal to supply another hospital (a hospital in an area HH has been restricted from going because it would endanger that SAME hospital and further reduce HH's competition in the local area). That hospital took the sweet deal, and lost out on a whole department. Then, reeling from the loss of a whole unit, HH pulls it's people at the first opportunity, effectively castrating DG.
Predatory? Yes, big time.
Add to it that Loretta Spencer and friends have sat, or do sit, on HH's board of directors/trustees. The local government (for the past 8 or more years, the same time coincidentally that HH has gone from one of three hospitals to owning one of the others and vastly dwarfing the remaining one) has been doing whatever it can to accomodate and appease the voracious appetite of the beast.
Seriously, Cthulhu-ian- I mean, the motherfucker spread out from it's original site to encompass about 4 square blocks worth of formerly independent medical institutions. Lovecraft would be pleased- especially with how they mistreated the poor black community that once lived in the projects.
All the doctors have big houses on southside (really the SE), while the projects are getting thrown out into the north. Zoning changed, road improvements came down the line, yadda yadda yadda. Either HH is one lucky fucking hospital, or it's needs are being met at the expense of all others.
Look at what happened to Athens-Limestone Hospital... Guess who owns it, now...
Decatur General is next.
If they can force Crestwood out- which would likely start by keeping Crestwood from getting the rights to put a small extension inside Madison City (also a tactic HH has successfull employed in the on-going Madison Hospital bruhaha)- Huntsville Hospital would be the only hospital in 100 miles.
It's a bit fucked.
Huntsville, despite it's size and prestige, is really just a small town- especially politically. And Huntsville Hospital is definitely part of the good ol' boy network, here. Read More...
Because the best way to entice the reader is by insulting them until they are COWED into submission and read to appease their betters!
Also, your voice annoys me- not the quality; but the fact that you have one, and aren't solely hear to provide me an audience- ready, able, and willing!
So: shut-up.
Full Disclosure: I have family members who work at Huntsville Hospital's only rival (in Huntsville), Crestwood Hospital.
Huntsville Hospital is fucking scary: A Case Study.
Like the fucking Janjawid, they have slowly expanded their way into local domination, and like a metastasizing cancer they will eventually spread to the rest of the world! This is a story of ethnic cleansing, if that were an accurate representation of highly suspect business practices, corporate greed, conflict of interest, and evil hospitals.
Huntsville Hospital is located near downtown Huntsville, and over the past 20 years has slowly bought up many of the units in the government housing projects located around it. For many years, the government opposed this; but recently Loretta Spencer- the idiot fuck who lost the Mayorial Election to Tommy Battle (the new potential Idiot Fuck)- put into effect a change to move all those horribly ugly and crime ridden projects away from the places they've been forever, and off to what it currently the furthest outskirts of town. Furthest, of course, if you live on the richest sides of town (southside, and near madison/research park/bridge street).
Why? 1, crime was bad in their parking garages. Cars were getting broken into a lot, despite security improvments it was "unacceptable". 2, for years there was a different hospital only two or three blocks over; which meant HH could expand into where the ghetto was or not at all- and one of THOSE was NOT an option. And even though HH finally bought up the site of the other hospital and expanded all over what was once a different facility, it still needed more room to grow and tumor out into- and it already owned significant portions of the projects nearby.
Okay, so this is predatory; but not really horrible. Agreed.
It's important to note that Huntsville Hospital is a CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION! They are not a business, they are here for the community, offering services; not running a business. This makes those predatory practices (understandable from a business) a bit more nefarious, don't you think? It also means they can ask for donations in the form of advertising, and provide their sponsors huge tax write-offs. This puts their competitors at serious disadvantage. Normally, this wouldn't matter to me; but HH has a bunch of shady/nefarious aspects and the free market works best when there is competition. One Hospital in 200 miles is a bit FAR from a competitive market place, and it seems to be exactly what HH wants.
Next Up: The curious case of the Little Hospital That Thought It Could, But Really Couldn't - Decatur General.
So, Decatur General couldn't afford a cardiac unit. For one, cardiac units are EXPENSIVE, for two they didn't have the docs for it. So DG makes a deal with HH to get some Cardiac specialists on loan. That way they save some money and provide residents of Decatur and other areas with cardiac care closer than Huntsville- 45 minutes or further away (down I-565). This deal REALLY pisses off DG's Obstetrics, and the OB's leave because DG can't afford to pay them enough to keep them because of how much the cardiac rental is costing. So, DG is up one Cardiac Unit, but can't deliver babies. So then, HH pulls it's docs back. DG now has no Obstetrics and no Cardiac Unit. DG was already financially strapped before the economic crisis; it's gone from being about to collapse to being held up by little more than a stubborn insistence to not admit it's already crumbled...
HH negotiated a sweet deal to supply another hospital (a hospital in an area HH has been restricted from going because it would endanger that SAME hospital and further reduce HH's competition in the local area). That hospital took the sweet deal, and lost out on a whole department. Then, reeling from the loss of a whole unit, HH pulls it's people at the first opportunity, effectively castrating DG.
Predatory? Yes, big time.
Add to it that Loretta Spencer and friends have sat, or do sit, on HH's board of directors/trustees. The local government (for the past 8 or more years, the same time coincidentally that HH has gone from one of three hospitals to owning one of the others and vastly dwarfing the remaining one) has been doing whatever it can to accomodate and appease the voracious appetite of the beast.
Seriously, Cthulhu-ian- I mean, the motherfucker spread out from it's original site to encompass about 4 square blocks worth of formerly independent medical institutions. Lovecraft would be pleased- especially with how they mistreated the poor black community that once lived in the projects.
All the doctors have big houses on southside (really the SE), while the projects are getting thrown out into the north. Zoning changed, road improvements came down the line, yadda yadda yadda. Either HH is one lucky fucking hospital, or it's needs are being met at the expense of all others.
Look at what happened to Athens-Limestone Hospital... Guess who owns it, now...
Decatur General is next.
If they can force Crestwood out- which would likely start by keeping Crestwood from getting the rights to put a small extension inside Madison City (also a tactic HH has successfull employed in the on-going Madison Hospital bruhaha)- Huntsville Hospital would be the only hospital in 100 miles.
It's a bit fucked.
Huntsville, despite it's size and prestige, is really just a small town- especially politically. And Huntsville Hospital is definitely part of the good ol' boy network, here. Read More...
Think Globally, Take it in the Pooper Locally!
Politics. Ah fuck, right? Wrong. Sit back down and read the whole fucking thing, or I will personally fantasize about all the sick twisted shit I'd never do to you unless you thought I wasn't capable of it and didn't hear me creeping up behind you, right this very second. That's right, just keep reading...
So, Democratic (Yeah, that's right, bitches) Representative Bud Cramer is out. He's the Congressman from Alabama's 5th District- because we don't have many people in the state(~4.5m), but we have towns (Birmingham) with bigger populations than Alaska- which includes Huntsville. His replacement fuck-ups are Wayne Parker (R) and Parker Griffith (D).
First, here are the issues for Huntsville, which means they're the issues for the vast majority of people in district 5, Defense spending, guns, anti-gays, and defense spending. It's prime Republican territory, and our Democratic representatives tend to be D in name more than policy. (Keeping the Dixiecrat tradition alive? Maybe; but not quite). Defense Spending is huge because of Redstone Arsenal, which is home to Space and Missile Defense Command. 85% of Missile components for the US military go through Huntsville at some point in time. [As an aside: Huntsville is the smartest city in the country. Per capita there are more PhDs here than anywhere else in the US; and this is LARGELY due to the above command and related industries.]
Second, the Candidates:
Wayne Parker - lost to Cramer in 1994 by less than 2000 votes, then lost by an asston in 1996. He was a lobbyist for two Alabama interest groups, for 5 years, and NEITHER of them remember him. In response to questions one referred to him as "this guy", as in "Someone told me this guy did some lobbying for us." Both groups said they didn't even recognize his name! Plus, back in 1994 he said Defense Spending wasn't important for Huntsville and that he thought they could cut some jobs and spending out on Redstone Arsenal. (Remember: Huntsville doesn't exist without Redstone. This is so much the case, that I have an unnerving {somewhat irrational} dislike for Goddard Space Flight Center because a lot of projects from here get yanked and thrown there).
Parker Griffith - Ex-Oncologist {Cancer Doctor, for both of you who don't watch House}, current freshman Dem in State Congress (since 2006). "A" rated by the NRA, doesn't support gay marriage, and says as a Christian he "knows where our values come from". This is the Democrat. THE FUCKING DEMOCRAT!
The facts:
Parker is attacking Parker (That's Wayne v Griffith) because Parker (that's Griffith) was reported by Huntsville Hospital (about as evil a charitable organization as can be) and forced out of their oncology center. Apparently some people thought Griffith (that's Parker) was withholding medication to ease the pain of his cancer patients. There was a report made, which found no fault, malpractice, nor justifiably actionable offense on the part of Parker (that's Griffith, like Andy- who supports Obama, which is possibly how and why PG is a Democrat). So, Parker (that's Wayne) has been running shit on the air, backed MASSIVELY by the GOP's financing committees, about how Parker's (that's Griffith's) patients were horribly abused. {Good place to note that the first version of the ad had to be yanked because it was illegal- it was inaccurately citing and referencing the report. 2 of the 3 local stations it was airing on yanked it until it was redone in accordance with FUCKING COMMON 11th GRADE Essay ACCURACY, not to mention decency. Oh, an Kudos Channel 19 for being douches and refusing to pull the ad, because irrationally justifying slander/libel from one side over the other is a great way to encourage accurate reporting and some modicum of journalistic "balance", Station Owners}.
Full understanding of what that report REALLY meant, and why Griffith (that's Parker) was forced out, would entail a long diatribe about Huntsville Hospital. I am already in mid-long-diatribe and will refrain from further tangential bullshitting, other than to say: Huntsville Hospital is HUGELY political, and it has the smack of standard HH politics (i.e. been done before to other docs, administrators, board members, etc etc).
Currently, Parker (Griffith) is trying his damndest to get past this Torture-Doctor shite (look at his forcongress.com website), while continuing to attack Wayne Parker for being a stupid fucking lobbyist scumbag. Parker (that's Wayne) may have this sewn up, It's hard to tell.
The point is, though, that we have (supposedly) TWO candidates: Parker & Parker. But, with very little difference, according to their campaign materials, it's like voting for the the lesser half of the same fucking evil. It'd be like saying "I voted Bush Cheney '04 because, though I hate Cheney and Bush, I like Bush's legs. I can TRUST Bush's legs not to capitulate to terrorists, or fuck our economy up so bad it sends us into a global recession; and it's not like EITHER of them had anything to do with the TREASONOUS act of OUTING an UNDERCOVER CIA operative still on ACTIVE status. Nope, I just like those reassuringly chiseled calf muscles..."
In point of fact, this isn't likely the case. Look at Parker's (that's Griffith, Wayne has never held elected office) voting records and you'll see he's a fairly reliable democrat. He, apparently, is a socially conservative moderate democrat. Running against the guy who said, on the local TV debate, that he'd abolish the Department of Education. Parker (that's Griffith) has hit him HARD on that, listing the DoE's contribution to every school system in the 5th District- which is tens of millions of dollars. HOWEVER, it's obvious from his answers that Parker (that's Wayne) is likely a young earth creationist and Intelligent Design advocate. Parker (that's Wayne) really really really wants you to have to learn about God in Science class. Because we wouldn't want you to learn fucking SCIENCE in science class, we're only 24th of 14 developed countries surveyed in science! (See? If you'd fucking FUND the DoE instead of abolishing it, and stop trying to fuck with science education, I might know the sample size had to be bigger than 14 if we were 24th, and YOU might know that I was being facetious, or what that big fancy word meant!)
I hate having to vote for these schmucks. Parker Griffith shouldn't be ashamed at being A rated by the NRA, but he shouldn't pander so heavy-handedly, either. It's disgraceful, and his campaign is making him look like a republican in all but name. This is, probably, calculated; but it very well could mean I vote Independent and if I'm doing that, it could mean other swing votes are doing that. Wayne Parker is indistinguishable from a fool, a lobbyist, and an idiot. At the present time, it would be increasingly difficult to prove that Wayne Parker isn't the biggest piece of shit to ever try to lie, cheat, deceive, stupid (as the verb), and generally appeal to Palin-conservatives, his way into the AL-05. THAT is why I may actually NOT throw my vote away, and give it to the lesser side of the two evils (and his fairly reliable, intelligent, non-discriminatory voting record in the state Senate).
It's a disgusting election, this, and if I wasn't a horribly opinionated, atheist, skeptic, with no money, breeding, education, or worth I'd fucking run for this seat myself in four years and show these assholes that an intellectually honest, non-dogmatic, candidate can beat their dicks in with barely any money and only a spot at locally televised debates. Alas, how much better the world if my dreams- but not yours, yours are all creepy to us and really conveying that creepiness was the whole point of this post, thanks for reading through to it, and stop masturbating on the gerbils, now- were reality...
UPDATE: Just glanced at the newspaper for today, and see the CHRISTIAN COALITION has decried Wayne Parker's "Islam Ad" the headline reads "You need to win on the issues". I have not seen this ad (Not surprising since I watch little TV and when I do the channel tends to have B or MSN before the BC), nor read the story yet; more after lunch... Read More...
So, Democratic (Yeah, that's right, bitches) Representative Bud Cramer is out. He's the Congressman from Alabama's 5th District- because we don't have many people in the state(~4.5m), but we have towns (Birmingham) with bigger populations than Alaska- which includes Huntsville. His replacement fuck-ups are Wayne Parker (R) and Parker Griffith (D).
First, here are the issues for Huntsville, which means they're the issues for the vast majority of people in district 5, Defense spending, guns, anti-gays, and defense spending. It's prime Republican territory, and our Democratic representatives tend to be D in name more than policy. (Keeping the Dixiecrat tradition alive? Maybe; but not quite). Defense Spending is huge because of Redstone Arsenal, which is home to Space and Missile Defense Command. 85% of Missile components for the US military go through Huntsville at some point in time. [As an aside: Huntsville is the smartest city in the country. Per capita there are more PhDs here than anywhere else in the US; and this is LARGELY due to the above command and related industries.]
Second, the Candidates:
Wayne Parker - lost to Cramer in 1994 by less than 2000 votes, then lost by an asston in 1996. He was a lobbyist for two Alabama interest groups, for 5 years, and NEITHER of them remember him. In response to questions one referred to him as "this guy", as in "Someone told me this guy did some lobbying for us." Both groups said they didn't even recognize his name! Plus, back in 1994 he said Defense Spending wasn't important for Huntsville and that he thought they could cut some jobs and spending out on Redstone Arsenal. (Remember: Huntsville doesn't exist without Redstone. This is so much the case, that I have an unnerving {somewhat irrational} dislike for Goddard Space Flight Center because a lot of projects from here get yanked and thrown there).
Parker Griffith - Ex-Oncologist {Cancer Doctor, for both of you who don't watch House}, current freshman Dem in State Congress (since 2006). "A" rated by the NRA, doesn't support gay marriage, and says as a Christian he "knows where our values come from". This is the Democrat. THE FUCKING DEMOCRAT!
The facts:
Parker is attacking Parker (That's Wayne v Griffith) because Parker (that's Griffith) was reported by Huntsville Hospital (about as evil a charitable organization as can be) and forced out of their oncology center. Apparently some people thought Griffith (that's Parker) was withholding medication to ease the pain of his cancer patients. There was a report made, which found no fault, malpractice, nor justifiably actionable offense on the part of Parker (that's Griffith, like Andy- who supports Obama, which is possibly how and why PG is a Democrat). So, Parker (that's Wayne) has been running shit on the air, backed MASSIVELY by the GOP's financing committees, about how Parker's (that's Griffith's) patients were horribly abused. {Good place to note that the first version of the ad had to be yanked because it was illegal- it was inaccurately citing and referencing the report. 2 of the 3 local stations it was airing on yanked it until it was redone in accordance with FUCKING COMMON 11th GRADE Essay ACCURACY, not to mention decency. Oh, an Kudos Channel 19 for being douches and refusing to pull the ad, because irrationally justifying slander/libel from one side over the other is a great way to encourage accurate reporting and some modicum of journalistic "balance", Station Owners}.
Full understanding of what that report REALLY meant, and why Griffith (that's Parker) was forced out, would entail a long diatribe about Huntsville Hospital. I am already in mid-long-diatribe and will refrain from further tangential bullshitting, other than to say: Huntsville Hospital is HUGELY political, and it has the smack of standard HH politics (i.e. been done before to other docs, administrators, board members, etc etc).
Currently, Parker (Griffith) is trying his damndest to get past this Torture-Doctor shite (look at his forcongress.com website), while continuing to attack Wayne Parker for being a stupid fucking lobbyist scumbag. Parker (that's Wayne) may have this sewn up, It's hard to tell.
The point is, though, that we have (supposedly) TWO candidates: Parker & Parker. But, with very little difference, according to their campaign materials, it's like voting for the the lesser half of the same fucking evil. It'd be like saying "I voted Bush Cheney '04 because, though I hate Cheney and Bush, I like Bush's legs. I can TRUST Bush's legs not to capitulate to terrorists, or fuck our economy up so bad it sends us into a global recession; and it's not like EITHER of them had anything to do with the TREASONOUS act of OUTING an UNDERCOVER CIA operative still on ACTIVE status. Nope, I just like those reassuringly chiseled calf muscles..."
In point of fact, this isn't likely the case. Look at Parker's (that's Griffith, Wayne has never held elected office) voting records and you'll see he's a fairly reliable democrat. He, apparently, is a socially conservative moderate democrat. Running against the guy who said, on the local TV debate, that he'd abolish the Department of Education. Parker (that's Griffith) has hit him HARD on that, listing the DoE's contribution to every school system in the 5th District- which is tens of millions of dollars. HOWEVER, it's obvious from his answers that Parker (that's Wayne) is likely a young earth creationist and Intelligent Design advocate. Parker (that's Wayne) really really really wants you to have to learn about God in Science class. Because we wouldn't want you to learn fucking SCIENCE in science class, we're only 24th of 14 developed countries surveyed in science! (See? If you'd fucking FUND the DoE instead of abolishing it, and stop trying to fuck with science education, I might know the sample size had to be bigger than 14 if we were 24th, and YOU might know that I was being facetious, or what that big fancy word meant!)
I hate having to vote for these schmucks. Parker Griffith shouldn't be ashamed at being A rated by the NRA, but he shouldn't pander so heavy-handedly, either. It's disgraceful, and his campaign is making him look like a republican in all but name. This is, probably, calculated; but it very well could mean I vote Independent and if I'm doing that, it could mean other swing votes are doing that. Wayne Parker is indistinguishable from a fool, a lobbyist, and an idiot. At the present time, it would be increasingly difficult to prove that Wayne Parker isn't the biggest piece of shit to ever try to lie, cheat, deceive, stupid (as the verb), and generally appeal to Palin-conservatives, his way into the AL-05. THAT is why I may actually NOT throw my vote away, and give it to the lesser side of the two evils (and his fairly reliable, intelligent, non-discriminatory voting record in the state Senate).
It's a disgusting election, this, and if I wasn't a horribly opinionated, atheist, skeptic, with no money, breeding, education, or worth I'd fucking run for this seat myself in four years and show these assholes that an intellectually honest, non-dogmatic, candidate can beat their dicks in with barely any money and only a spot at locally televised debates. Alas, how much better the world if my dreams- but not yours, yours are all creepy to us and really conveying that creepiness was the whole point of this post, thanks for reading through to it, and stop masturbating on the gerbils, now- were reality...
UPDATE: Just glanced at the newspaper for today, and see the CHRISTIAN COALITION has decried Wayne Parker's "Islam Ad" the headline reads "You need to win on the issues". I have not seen this ad (Not surprising since I watch little TV and when I do the channel tends to have B or MSN before the BC), nor read the story yet; more after lunch... Read More...
Monday, October 27, 2008
Come Again Comedian
What's wrong with our comedy, anymore?
Where are the new Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Henny Youngman, Rodney Dangerfield, Mitch Hedburg?
Worse (somehow) where are the old Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dennis Leary, Robin Williams?
The answer is: they're there if you look for them; and they'll never come again.
First off, we're a media saturated culture. Thirty years ago there was no Comedy Central, showing stand-up to anyone with a basic cable subscription. Thirty years ago there really wasn't cable, at least nothing like what we have today. There was no TiVO, DVR, and not even VCR or Betamax (for both of you who remember those archaic form of recording); and no internet.
So, we get a lot more of the comedy that we once had to go to a Comedy Club to see. And, let's face it, most comedy sucks. To be honest, it simply doesn't appeal to very many people; but as Penn Jillette pointed out, in a country of 300(+) million you only have to appeal to a very small percentage to have millions of fans.
Second, because we're so saturated with information, we have less of an appetite for anything that isn't perfect. We feel that there are so many options that if it's not 100% perfect it's shit. For instance: back in the day when there were only three different styles of blue-jeans to choose from, and the pair you bought was a bit too short, tight, long, wide, stiff, uncomfortable, you dealt with it and moved along- you didn't have the choice to do otherwise, really; but now there's a million styles, colors, and fits so if your pair suits your tastes more than it did- but not 100%- you feel like maybe you made the wrong choice. The fact is, you made a great choice- especially in comparison to 30, 40, or 50 years ago.
Third, there really are a lot more shitty comedians. This is due to multiple things: the huge explosion of comedy in the late 70s and 80s, increased awareness of how to become a comedian, and more people. Thirty-five years ago, you had to REALLY want to be a comedian if you were from bum-fuck Texas and didn't already know a working comedian. Today, you hop online, hit a few forums, read some wikipedia article, jump to google maps, order some books from Amazon, and you're on your way. Then there's the fact that there's well over 300 million people in our country. If 1% of people (a year) ever tried to become comedians, and 1% of them (a year) get anywhere with it, and 1% of those (a year) make it onto comedy central, that's 300 people a year with 30 minutes to blow donkey nuts out of your television on Friday nights and weekday days. It might not seem like much; but try to name 30 comedians, now try to name 30 that don't include any I've already named in this post...
Shouldn't that mean that we have MORE Carlins, Pryors, and Hicks? Not at all. It's a different machine today than it was back then. There's no way to be certain that someone like Carlin would be nearly as popular if he came along today. Look at Lenny Bruce, he was so influential because he was such a new idea/phenomenon. No one had done or said the things he had; and no one had addressed the issues he addressed. He cussed, for one. Read Carlin on how Bruce changed his act! (Basically, the Carlin you know and love wouldn't have existed without Bruce). It's not that there are not new things to say and ways for it to be said, it's that the ways to be new are smaller, less indistinguishable from other ways. Look at music: find a ban that doesn't (or couldn't) get described by naming six other bands that came before them.
Back in the day it was: (1)Much harder to become a working comedian because there were far fewer venues. Henny Youngman, even at the height of his career, would perform at any Bar Mitzvah in the hotel he was staying at- and would actually go offer to preform at them. That's unimaginable for many people- even many comedians- today. This meant you had to REALLY want to do it, and REALLY be vested in getting better (appealing to more people), if you wanted to do the comedy. (2)More competitive amongst the comics because there were so few venues- no internet celebrities back then.
These two factors meant the people who did make it were seriously the best of the best. Today you can appeal to far less than 1% of people, and if you can get a dollar out of each of them you can be a millionaire. And you're not stuck appealing to one country. You can take advantage of every person who speaks the same language as you. Eddie Izzard has done his routines in many languages- including French, German, and Icelandic.
Add to it that people change, and people with reputations (and who make money off those reps) are cautious, protecting their money-makers, and you'll never see those few titans ever do the risky shit that made them their names. They don't need to, either. Robin Williams has millions of fans who will pay money to see him at his most mediocre because he enraptured them back when he was young, hungry, and doing enough cocaine to kill several peruvian pack animals. They don't need to strive like they did when they were proving themselves, they age and the creative spark fades, they get a family and their priorities change, they get rich and less connected to the people they once spoke for, and they get happier with life and no longer have that driving hate that so many of the best comedians seem to have.
It all adds up. But things aren't bleak.
Instead of waiting 6 years for the next Carlin record to drop, you can now get your favorite comedian's latest and greatest almost as soon as they perform it.
And there are still a number of REALLY great comedians out there. Patton Oswalt, Doug Stanhope, David Cross, Eddie Izzard, The Amazing Johnathan, so on and so on. And the amount of humorous acts and media is astounding: Penn & Teller, The Daily Show, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Diesel Sweeties, XKCD, Fafblog, etc etc etc etc.
Don't forget that yesterday sucked, too. Today isn't any better, per se, it's different- and there's not really anything inherently wrong with that. Read More...
Where are the new Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Henny Youngman, Rodney Dangerfield, Mitch Hedburg?
Worse (somehow) where are the old Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dennis Leary, Robin Williams?
The answer is: they're there if you look for them; and they'll never come again.
First off, we're a media saturated culture. Thirty years ago there was no Comedy Central, showing stand-up to anyone with a basic cable subscription. Thirty years ago there really wasn't cable, at least nothing like what we have today. There was no TiVO, DVR, and not even VCR or Betamax (for both of you who remember those archaic form of recording); and no internet.
So, we get a lot more of the comedy that we once had to go to a Comedy Club to see. And, let's face it, most comedy sucks. To be honest, it simply doesn't appeal to very many people; but as Penn Jillette pointed out, in a country of 300(+) million you only have to appeal to a very small percentage to have millions of fans.
Second, because we're so saturated with information, we have less of an appetite for anything that isn't perfect. We feel that there are so many options that if it's not 100% perfect it's shit. For instance: back in the day when there were only three different styles of blue-jeans to choose from, and the pair you bought was a bit too short, tight, long, wide, stiff, uncomfortable, you dealt with it and moved along- you didn't have the choice to do otherwise, really; but now there's a million styles, colors, and fits so if your pair suits your tastes more than it did- but not 100%- you feel like maybe you made the wrong choice. The fact is, you made a great choice- especially in comparison to 30, 40, or 50 years ago.
Third, there really are a lot more shitty comedians. This is due to multiple things: the huge explosion of comedy in the late 70s and 80s, increased awareness of how to become a comedian, and more people. Thirty-five years ago, you had to REALLY want to be a comedian if you were from bum-fuck Texas and didn't already know a working comedian. Today, you hop online, hit a few forums, read some wikipedia article, jump to google maps, order some books from Amazon, and you're on your way. Then there's the fact that there's well over 300 million people in our country. If 1% of people (a year) ever tried to become comedians, and 1% of them (a year) get anywhere with it, and 1% of those (a year) make it onto comedy central, that's 300 people a year with 30 minutes to blow donkey nuts out of your television on Friday nights and weekday days. It might not seem like much; but try to name 30 comedians, now try to name 30 that don't include any I've already named in this post...
Shouldn't that mean that we have MORE Carlins, Pryors, and Hicks? Not at all. It's a different machine today than it was back then. There's no way to be certain that someone like Carlin would be nearly as popular if he came along today. Look at Lenny Bruce, he was so influential because he was such a new idea/phenomenon. No one had done or said the things he had; and no one had addressed the issues he addressed. He cussed, for one. Read Carlin on how Bruce changed his act! (Basically, the Carlin you know and love wouldn't have existed without Bruce). It's not that there are not new things to say and ways for it to be said, it's that the ways to be new are smaller, less indistinguishable from other ways. Look at music: find a ban that doesn't (or couldn't) get described by naming six other bands that came before them.
Back in the day it was: (1)Much harder to become a working comedian because there were far fewer venues. Henny Youngman, even at the height of his career, would perform at any Bar Mitzvah in the hotel he was staying at- and would actually go offer to preform at them. That's unimaginable for many people- even many comedians- today. This meant you had to REALLY want to do it, and REALLY be vested in getting better (appealing to more people), if you wanted to do the comedy. (2)More competitive amongst the comics because there were so few venues- no internet celebrities back then.
These two factors meant the people who did make it were seriously the best of the best. Today you can appeal to far less than 1% of people, and if you can get a dollar out of each of them you can be a millionaire. And you're not stuck appealing to one country. You can take advantage of every person who speaks the same language as you. Eddie Izzard has done his routines in many languages- including French, German, and Icelandic.
Add to it that people change, and people with reputations (and who make money off those reps) are cautious, protecting their money-makers, and you'll never see those few titans ever do the risky shit that made them their names. They don't need to, either. Robin Williams has millions of fans who will pay money to see him at his most mediocre because he enraptured them back when he was young, hungry, and doing enough cocaine to kill several peruvian pack animals. They don't need to strive like they did when they were proving themselves, they age and the creative spark fades, they get a family and their priorities change, they get rich and less connected to the people they once spoke for, and they get happier with life and no longer have that driving hate that so many of the best comedians seem to have.
It all adds up. But things aren't bleak.
Instead of waiting 6 years for the next Carlin record to drop, you can now get your favorite comedian's latest and greatest almost as soon as they perform it.
And there are still a number of REALLY great comedians out there. Patton Oswalt, Doug Stanhope, David Cross, Eddie Izzard, The Amazing Johnathan, so on and so on. And the amount of humorous acts and media is astounding: Penn & Teller, The Daily Show, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Diesel Sweeties, XKCD, Fafblog, etc etc etc etc.
Don't forget that yesterday sucked, too. Today isn't any better, per se, it's different- and there's not really anything inherently wrong with that. Read More...
Sunday, October 26, 2008
SNL
It's no secret that SNL "ain't what it used to be". And by "what it used to be", I mean in the days of Dennis Miller, Adam Sandler, Farley, Carvey, McDonald, etc etc. (And maybe the times of Chase, Murphy, Ackroyd, Murray, etc etc).
With the exception of Tina Fey- though, I'm getting really annoyed with the constant reiteration of the same Palin jokes over and over again- I'd say the cast(s) have sucked for a long time. I was never a fan of Will Farrell, and I still find him far more annoying and monotonously over-done. But.
Occasionally, there's a really funny skit coming out of SNL. The rastafarian digital this past weekend (also, the first time I've watched in years), the Marky Mark skit from two weeks ago, and the first couple Palin mocks. But, notice something: The rasta skit, and the Marky Mark skit, were done by the same guy. The Palin skit was done by Fey. Worth checking out, also, was a bit in a larger skit where Rev Wright and Bill Ayers appear... can't remember much else, fuck you you suffer the shit that is SNL if you really wanna see it.
So, what's the deal? Is it really worse, or have we- the ones who dislike it now and loved it before- changed? The answer is, obviously, both. In my case, I know my sense of humour has changed significantly. But, also, SNL really seems targetted at 17 year olds (if that) with jokes about shit that only a 27 year old (or older) would really understand. And it's seemed that way, to me, forever.
Plus the musical guests blow dick, anymore. Remember Sinead O'Connor? Not gonna see any risks like that anymore. It seems passe because a lot of what they do has been taken up by others and done better. Daily Show is a blatant rip off of weekend update (which was probably not an idea original to SNL), and is MUCH better even than the horrible Thursday 30-minute version of WU. Mr. Show kicked sketch-comedy in the testicles and then raped it's mom in the pooper, all while wearing clown make-up.
But of course, all comedy has sorta gone this way of shite and shite-ier. More on that, later.... Read More...
With the exception of Tina Fey- though, I'm getting really annoyed with the constant reiteration of the same Palin jokes over and over again- I'd say the cast(s) have sucked for a long time. I was never a fan of Will Farrell, and I still find him far more annoying and monotonously over-done. But.
Occasionally, there's a really funny skit coming out of SNL. The rastafarian digital this past weekend (also, the first time I've watched in years), the Marky Mark skit from two weeks ago, and the first couple Palin mocks. But, notice something: The rasta skit, and the Marky Mark skit, were done by the same guy. The Palin skit was done by Fey. Worth checking out, also, was a bit in a larger skit where Rev Wright and Bill Ayers appear... can't remember much else, fuck you you suffer the shit that is SNL if you really wanna see it.
So, what's the deal? Is it really worse, or have we- the ones who dislike it now and loved it before- changed? The answer is, obviously, both. In my case, I know my sense of humour has changed significantly. But, also, SNL really seems targetted at 17 year olds (if that) with jokes about shit that only a 27 year old (or older) would really understand. And it's seemed that way, to me, forever.
Plus the musical guests blow dick, anymore. Remember Sinead O'Connor? Not gonna see any risks like that anymore. It seems passe because a lot of what they do has been taken up by others and done better. Daily Show is a blatant rip off of weekend update (which was probably not an idea original to SNL), and is MUCH better even than the horrible Thursday 30-minute version of WU. Mr. Show kicked sketch-comedy in the testicles and then raped it's mom in the pooper, all while wearing clown make-up.
But of course, all comedy has sorta gone this way of shite and shite-ier. More on that, later.... Read More...
Friday, October 24, 2008
My Gogol Bordello Playlist
This Is what I've been listening to over and over again, recently.
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=C899203D9C034297
And just because I'm curious about what this does:
Read More...
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=C899203D9C034297
And just because I'm curious about what this does:
Read More...
Funny, WoWfag
So, it turns out the average MMO player is probably more physically fit than you are. This makes you a horrible fuck, and you should start playing MMOs because it will make you cool, hip, and healthier. (Originally heard about this via The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe)
Also, I recently saw a forum signature on the WoW forums that was funny. This isn't exactly new, lots of the humor is puerile and /b/tarded; but this particular one seemed in need of spreading:
GOP says, "We'll see your black guy and raise you a woman."
-Nubcoilz Read More...
Also, I recently saw a forum signature on the WoW forums that was funny. This isn't exactly new, lots of the humor is puerile and /b/tarded; but this particular one seemed in need of spreading:
GOP says, "We'll see your black guy and raise you a woman."
-Nubcoilz Read More...
Mortality Tables
Actuarial Tables - Mathematical measurement of probabilities, associated with age and other status factors, that a person of age X will survvie to their (X + 1)th birthday.
XKCD makes the fanboys cry. Read More...
XKCD makes the fanboys cry. Read More...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Culture for the Masstards
In an on-going attempt to force recognition of the many faceted awesomeness of various aspects of life, I present an on-going attempt to educate those who are uneducated, by choice, by accident, or by lack of ability:
Today's installment, Take Five by The Dave Brubeck Quartet:
Read More...
Today's installment, Take Five by The Dave Brubeck Quartet:
Read More...
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