Never Back Down (movie)

The Premise: MMA update of Karate Kid.

The Result: Ehh... 51.9 of 100

The Review:
First, the good bits... Djimon Hounsou- always awesome. Pretty scenery, pretty boys, pretty girls, pretty special effects. Good music. Some correct terms, and accurate training depictions, from MMA.

The bad... I'll give it to you as an anecdote, before discussing the part that really irked me. The Anecdote: I was bored with the movie pretty quick, so while my sister watched it On Demand, I nipped out for a smoke. Then, a new glass of tea. Then, another smoke. You get the idea. At one point, I came back into the living room and said I just wanted to see the main character's best buddy get beaten up. When it happened, she asked if I'd seen it in the preview. I said "No." She asked how I knew it was going to happen. The movie was predictable as all hell, that's how I knew.

The problem was even when they looked like they might be doing something new, it was just a new style of transition into the same-old-same-old. Which was annoying. Though, I did give them the 0.9 for, at least, trying... a little.... about 0.9 out of 100, worth.

Then, skip to the final fight, and its build-up. There's a problem with the MMA stuff that the writer's weren't aware of, I think. The final tournament had, basically, the same rules as the original UFC tournament. No eye-gouging, no biting. (The movie adds "no crotch shots"). Yet, none of these amateur fighters apparently studied Royce Gracie. The Gracies who were mentioned as part of the credentials for Mr. Miyagi... err... Jean Roqua. Royce Gracie DOMINATED the UFC, back then. Look at his wikipedia page, notice how it mentions his opponents were bigger than him? Yet in the movie, no one even attempts to emulate his style. They have a capoeira jackass they make fun of- he gets knocked out easily; but no Gracie emulators, not even anyone wearing a gi.

Could this be that Gracie sucks in the modern rules of the UFC? I'd say it's doubtful. Gracie could win if he was allowed to have 45 minute bouts lying on the ground, him and his opponent barely moving. The UFC changed its rules, in part, to keep that from happening- it's not exactly fun for the average person; it is for MMA geeks, but what aspect of MMA isn't? No, I think the reason is obvious: Royce Gracie's style isn't action-packed. That's fair; but add some fucking rules, then! Don't forget about the most influential fighter from the UFC- the only real MMA organization mentioned in the movie- especially when he was dominate in the era of the UFC with, almost, the EXACT same rules!

The characters were all basic, flat, and as expected. If you're an MMA geek, the movie will disappoint. If you're not an MMA geek, you love action movies, and you never figure out what's going to happen next; you'll love it. Otherwise, give it a pass until you're bored and it's on a channel you're already paying for...